Defensive Nightmare!

Let's be honest, United were outclassed by the I.F.A. yesterday, the Sky Blues defence had a nightmare, the fullbacks, Woods and Vauls, were taking to the cleaners and the central defenders, Rodgers, whose indecision led to the first goal and Cookie Munster, were at sixes and sevens, no leadership at all. The Sky Blue Sport's team have been emphasising the point that we need a 'general', in our defence, someone to take control, tell people what to do and more importantly lead by example. I and the Sky Blue Sport's team think we may have such a leader in our ranks, but our manager keeps him sitting on the bench. I'm talking about, Mark 'Sparky' Surgenor, the man who has played every position in this United team, but leftback and I'm sure he could play there as well.

When we reached halftime yesterday and by a miracle we were only one down, Roy Walker took off Curtis Woods and brought on Tony Kane, a plunker for a plunker and left Sparky sitting on the bench. Ten minutes after the restart, Kane backed out of going for a pass which was at worst was 50/50 and was left in no-man's land, even Joe Gray would have tried to get the ball and that's saying something. Surely there's a fullback in the 1st or 2nd division with more savvy and guts than any of our two incumbents (I hope that's the right word), but even if there's nobody or we can't afford them, surely Sparky deserves a try, we can't definitely go on like this.

The United manager picked the same eleven that started last week, surely he was living in a dream-world, he needed to make changes and to have a plan, it's obvious he didn't have a clue. The ironic thing is, if Chris Rodgers had not dithered and got dispossessed by the Lowry of I.F.A. and the keeper (who was superb throughout), had got a better touch on the ball, we might have got something in this match. Or if we had goal-line technology, the Chris Rodgers second half header might have counted, Irwin looked well behind the line when he kicked it out. That one mistake from Rodgers proved United's undoing, although we should have been swamped, such was the I.F.A. dominance, but their finishing left a lot to be desired, no doubt that's why the fat controller tried to sign United's leading marksman, Cutch.

In our preview of this match the 'Sports team made reference to referee Brian Turkington, who was we said fair, but he proved anything but. He allowed the I.F.A, (not surprisingly, his employers after all), to take throw-ins and free kicks from wherever they pleased and get away with brutal tackles without as so much as a talking to. One incident in the 2nd half stands out, as Ally Teggart jinked along the by-line, he had his progress impeded but he was not stopped, but instead playing the advantage rule, the 'Turk' blew for a foul and worse still no yellow card. The linesman at that end of the ground, the Spion Kop, was virtually useless, practically no offsides when the I.F.A. was attacking that end, any decisions that were doubtful he gave to them and worse still, he missed the Rodgers 'goal' in the 2nd half. Contrast this to the linesman at the railway end, his flag was constant, the minute United threatened to attack, he put up his flag. I was beginning to think the fat controller was pressing his buttons.

I couldn't say he was wrong, there were all to close to call, but he got one wrong when Ally and Jenks chased a through ball, Jenks, clearly offside, stopped, but the linesman flagged anyway although Ally was clearly on side. Jenks, who had a terrible match, a touch like an elephant, had bad luck with a header from a Downey cross, beating Blaney in the I.F.A. goal, only to see the ball come back off a post. Aaron Boyd, wasn't interested in chasing down balls and he went off at halftime, (no doubt his loyalties still lie with the I.F.A.), to be replaced with Archie. I couldn't believe this substitution, I'll stick my neck out now and say I don't think Archie will make it. His best position is on the bench, he's been tried at central defence, no use, leftback,too slow and left midfield, like a fish out of water. He contributed nothing to the match, he had one run but lost possession, what a waste.

The I.F.A. must have forced about 39 corners in the match, as I said before they got all the decisions, except one, They should've been five goals up at the break, they hit the bar, post, Albert headed straight at the keeper and Mark McAllister, blatantly offside, missed from 3 yards, that's on top of our keeper making three or four saves. Contrast this with United's two chances and you can see the difference in the two sides. Woods had a nightmare at rightback, he couldn't do right for doing wrong, when confronted with a player, he couldn't get the ball past him and he was generally out of position when the I.F.A. attacked. Now I been saying in this column for three years how pathetic we are at throw-ins, not only in defending them but in taking them. The hosts had a field day yesterday, United never putting any pressure on them when they were taking them and we have no idea when taking them ourselves and they were mostly intercepted, surely that's basic coaching.

2nd half
We were in the game this half, but the hosts should have got more goals and we were lucky our keeper was in top form, but McAllister still missed yet another a sitter, hitting the ball too far in front him and Burns was foiled by a great save from Drummond. I kept hoping that we could snatch something from this game, but I knew when the Rodgers goal was not given there was very little hope. Baker, a virtual passenger up front had to go off and Elvis come on to masquerade as a footballer, leaving the versatile Sparky sitting on the cold bench. How unprofessional of United to not have the sub ready when Baker went down injured, it was obvious he couldn't continue, but it took another two minutes after he went off to get the sub on. Vauls made a horrendous mistake, when missing s free header but somehow Archie got back to clear the danger at the expense another I.F.A. corner, I think it was number 36.

I never saw saw the time added on board go up and it was not announced over the speaker, which surprise, surprise, I was able to hear, at Norn Iron matches you can't hear a thing, but we weren't informed, Davy King could learn them a thing or two. The final whistle sounded and I was left to contemplate of how I and the poor 100 or so travelling Sky Blue fans had contributed to another United defeat, as our manager pointed out, it is all our fault. Maybe we would be better not going at all and then Roy and his team of no-hopers would have no-one to blame, only themselves, that'd would be a novel idea. But it hardly likely to happen, no matter all the brickbats and blame you attribute to us, we will still support you, there's no fools like old fools, we are truly United, but is the team!

Drummond (8), Woods (4)(Sub: Kane 4,), Vauls (5), Rodgers (6), Cookie (6), Baker (5)(Sub: Elvis 4,), Downey (7), Jenks (4), Ally (7), Boyd (4)(Sub: Archie (5), Cutch (6),

Man of the match: Wayne Drummond