Susan Who!

You may think that's a strange headline, but Elvis (or Jay as he likes to be called), calls his nutmegs 'Susan'. At the end of the day speculation as to why they called so is irrelevant, United supporters just want to see more of them and more of the two super goals he scored at Celtic Park in this one-sided victory. The small crowd of United fans (150 or so), were treated to three superb goals and D.C. man of the match, former Sky Blue Goosey Robinson, pulled of a string of saves to rescue his team from a trouncing. United showed two changes from the team that whipped the Glens in their last match, Johnny Taylor was restored to central defence, freeing Captain Jenks to take his accustomed role in midfield and Dickie Vauls got the leftback slot in the absence of the suspended Ross Black. Rory was dropped to the bench and I and the small number of fans were surprised and delighted, to see Jordan Baker among the subs.

The pitch at Celtic Park wasn't up to standard, but that didn't stop Elvis and with only sixty seconds on the clock he set us on our way. Cutch, playing out on the right in United's 4,3,3 formation, found his mate Jenks with a pass, he fed Elvis on the right, he in turn 'Susaned' his marker and rifled an unstoppable shot past Goosey to give United the lead. Thirteen minutes later he repeated the dose this time on the left, he once more Susaned his marker before beating Goosey to put United 2-0 ahead. D.C. at this stage seemed to be shell-shocked and they should've been 3-0 nil down when Jamie D latched onto a through ball and with the goal at his mercy decided to try and chip the keeper, but Goosey saved at the expense of a corner. Little was seen of the home side in attack, but the United defence was looking decidedly 'creaky' early on, but improved as the game wore on.

Elvis was sporting a new haircut and I wondered if it was his 'hairstyle' that had contributed to his spectacular misses in a Sky Blue shirt. Then again maybe it is 'Susan' we have to thank for this turn around in his shooting skills, or has Spike been giving him the benefit of his vast experience. Whatever it was, I and the Sky Blue faithful (the true United men), who were at this match, are just glad he is starting to find his feet. D.C. missed a glorious chance to reduce the leeway when McVeigh sneaked in, despite being blatantly offside, but he missed the goal when he perhaps should've scored. The linesman at that end was useless and he compounded this by flagging for offside at the end of the half when it seemed no-one was offside.

2nd half
United completed their scoring 3 minutes after the break when Alan D notched his 3rd goal in 5 games with a shot past a bemused Goosey. Cutch, was the provider feeding Alan D in the box and he clipped a glorious half-volley in the top corner of the net leaving Goosey grasping thin-air. With no TV cameras there from BBC or UTV, we'll have to rely on Sky Blue TV for the highlights (armchair supporters take note, you missed three cracker goals). United could and should have scored a bag-full, but like our last match at Glens we're decidedly wasteful and Goosey was in top form. Elvis, Susaned his marker again, but this time decided to cross, instead of going for goal when he had made an angle for himself.

The linesman at this end which United were attacking in the 2nd period had wakened up and I can't honestly say he got any offsides wrong, but they were all close not the bare-faced blunders he had made in the first half. Although perfectly positioned on the by-line he did deny United a corner when the ball was over the byline, maybe he needs a trip to Specsavers after all. United youngster Jamie D, made way for Jordan Baker and he nearly scored when his shot was stopped by Goosey with his feet, Alan D follow-up was blocked. The United defence was obviously missing being involved in the action and they contrived to give D.C. a lifeline, but Dwayne was having none of it.

Spike continuing to make the changes, Elvis came off to a standing ovation and Ally came on and with his second touch failed to find a United player with the D.C. defence in shreds. Neil Lowry was the next to come on and the strangely subdued Cutch made way for him. Cutch, reportedly on a £50 a goal bonus, seems to be content now to be a provider than scoring himself. Maybe he thinks with 31 goals to his credit there's not much incentive and another £200 or £300 isn't going to make a any difference to the lot of a cheese-packer. Whatever the reason he still tries his best for the team and although he was not his sharpest he didn't have a free kick which bounced of the wall for a corner. Johnny Taylor, got his head to a another free-kick which came back off the crossbar. Despite the requisite 3 minutes of added time there was no more scoring and United kept the unbeaten run going and kept a clean sheet into the bargain!

Nelson (8), Rodgers (8), Vauls (7), Taylor (7), Archie (7), Alan D (8), Jenks (7), Taggart (8), Jamie D (6)(Sub: Baker 6,), Cutch (7)(Sub: Lowry 6,), Elvis (8)(Sub: Ally 6,)

Man of the match: Elvis (and Susan)!