Shave Them!

I've been trying to find a reason for us letting in 14 goals in 2 matches and have come to the conclusion that's it to do with the facial hair (or the lack of it), that United players have decided to have on their top lip through the month of November. We were doing alright up to then, not setting the world alight, not scoring enough goals, but our striker had walked away at the end of last season and we had seemingly stopped our penchant for shipping goals. We had two blips, when we lost 4-1 to the scum and let DC score 3 in the first half in match 7 before eventually getting a deserved draw. But looking back at this match, you could say that's when the rot started, DC found scoring against our hitherto impregnable defence too easy (we had only conceded 3 goals up till then) and maybe the coaching staff missed a trick by not trying alleviate the problem. I know its easy to be wise in hindsight but we pay our management team to not leave any stone unturned in their and our quest, for glory.

Due to injuries and suspensions we were down to the bare bones as a squad and the midfield was woefully short of ball winners and we paid a heavy price for this oversight. Surely Rodgers could have been pressed into service or Owen Gillan who has been starring for the reserves, on the other hand maybe Spike's saving him for the Shield final. I'm sure I don't have to tell any reader of my column that my pet hate is United's failure to cut out crosses. With just 5 mins on the clock, they paid a heavy price for this benevolence when Martin Donnelly got his cross in and Garret eluded both his marker and Nelson to give his team the lead. Nelson appealed to the ref that he was impeded but Davy Malcolmson decided the goal was good. Two minutes later a reds player went in for a 'leg break' tackle which deserved a red card, but Davy chose to lecture the culprit and set the trend for the remainder of the match. Every time United tried to play football they were fouled and Davy refused to caution any visiting players and this gave them a licence to do it all the time.

When Alan D was trying to start a move near the halfway line he was fouled (an elbow I think) and Davy seemed about to blow and he changed his mind and let the game go on and McMullan scored with a thunderbolt shot off the underside of the crossbar. I have tried too fathom in my head why the ref ignored this clear foul on Alan D and video replays show it was a clearly a foul. Was it perpetrated by the player he had already talked to and should sent off or at least cautioned, or was that if he acknowledged it he, would have to send the reds player off or is he just incompetent, or a combination of all three. That goal came in the 15 mins and 13 mins later a United attacking move was intercepted by central defender Smith, who was unchallenged as he surged forward and he found Boyce who looked well offside and he found the net. Four minutes later United were awarded a corner and Cookie found Cush in the centre, but he delayed too long and was dispossessed and Gormely took on Black, who failed to tackle him and he fed Boyce and his cross ricocheted off a defenders leg to set up Knowles for a simple tap in. With halftime approaching United were offered a lifeline when they won a free-kick just outside the box and though Kane beat keeper Devlin his shot clipped the crossbar and went over for a goal-kick


2nd half
Manager Spike rang the changes at halftime, taking off Ally and Black and bringing on Jamie and Rodgers and changing to a 3,5,2 system, but it made little or no difference and Chickenville continued on their merry way. The goals onslaught continued unabated, 50 mins Gormley from 25 yards beat Nelson all ends up and proved with his goal celebrations that he was wrongly named it was 'gormless' I think and rubbed salt in an already festering wound. Three mins later it was six when after a short-corner, when Nelson could only parry a shot, Boyce scored easily but the visitors had five men in United's six-yard box and not a United man to be seen. Ten mins later it was seven when substitute McCarrol was given time to turn and rifle a shot in the corner of the net past a bemused Nelson. When Garret scored number 8 in the 83 minute I was really getting worried, the dreaded nein, nein, frauline was looming. But I must give credit to United here, although they were getting roasted alive, they still tried to play football.

Jimmy Mac had come on for Lowry but he hadn't made any difference, it was like for like. Near the end Alan D had a shot from long range saved by Devlin and thankfully there was no further scoring at the other end. United and their fans left the ground in sombre mood, they had started so brightly and had suffered at the hands of Chickenville, a thrashing, not unlike that of exactly a year ago when United got off to a bad start handing the reds a goal and eventually lost 7-3. But we were well in that game, but yesterday we were comprehensively beaten and I think our staff have got to study these two reverses against Chickenville and Linfield some more, they weren't bad days at the office, they were basic defending gone crazy. We missed Gavin badly in midfield and Sparky too, but surely we need cover for all positions or are combative midfielders as scarce as strikers. Gavin should be back next Saturday and Sparky for the final. But we need to be focused in the job in hand and we need to be clean shaven, but more importantly we need to take pride and be proud, of everything we do!

Nelson (5), Kane (5) Black (5)(Sub: Jamie 5,), Cookie (5), Archie (5), Thommo (4, Cush (4), Ally (4)(Sub: Rodgers 5,), Alan D (6), Lowry (5)(Sub: Jimmy Mac 5,), Elvis (5)

Man of the match: Alan D