Bitter Alice!

When I tried to think of headline that summed all the bitterness and frustration I felt at this pathetic display, 'Bitter Alice' I think sums it up perfectly. Bitter Alice, for the uneducated, is a substance that is coated on children's comforters (dummy tit, thumb, etc), to wean them off the comforter. I have never tried it, but Omar assures me it works and this United display has me saying I don't want to see another game for a long time, at least until August anyway. The Sky Blue Sport's team were looking for a pointer from Spike, like fielding his strongest team and giving us an inkling of what we could expect next season. If this mishmash of individuals that he picked yesterday was his team for the future, he leaves me with a sense of trepidation and far as I'm concerned he took the first steps on the gangplank of having his contract terminated.

We got off to a bad start yesterday, firstly when arriving at the ground Omar went to the development stand to see if he could get a programme for last Saturdays match, only to be informed that the printers went bust and they were having problems getting a replacement at the right price. Secondly Sammy Patterson told us the team, Dwayne was behind a back four of McCullagh, Maher, Taylor and Ruddy, in midfield were Jenks, Gavin, Cush and Ally and upfront were Alan D playing behind Dolan. We hardly strung two passes together in the first half and the chief culprits were Alan D and Jenks. The Swifts were passing the ball about and we let them, there was not a tackle in us and we were jittery at the back and it seemed only a matter of time when the Swifts scored.

The linesman at the Fisherwick end was not up with play and missed at least two offsides but United survived more by luck than by design. The post came to their rescue when Taylor and Maher were bamboozled by Chris Lavery but his shot beat Dwayne's outstretched arms but not the the post. Then in the 25th minute United suffered a blow (or was it a blessing in disguise), when Alan D was clearly elbowed and the referee, Keith Kennedy, despite awarding the free kick, took no action against the culprit and after receiving treatment at the touchline, he had to substituted with Liggie taking his place. Liggie was hardly on the field when the Swifts took a deserved lead, but there was a hint of fortitude about it. In a flowing move, with United chasing shadows, the ball was played to P.J. Lavery on the wing, who was clearly in an offside position, but the linesman was not up with play and he was allowed to go on and drilled a low shot past Dwayne to give his side the lead.

That goal came in the 27th minute and United got back on terms almost immediately when Ally swung over a corner and Maher with a free header missed the target, Dolan then had a shot blocked, but it eventually to fell to Taylor who despatched it into the net. Then the referee showed his bias by booking Gavin and Cushley for fouls, both deserved I might add, but letting the Swifts get away with tackles that were as bad if not worse. We managed to hold out to halftime but it was obvious a change was needed and we needed to get to grips with the game, the ref counted out 12 yards instead of the usual ten when United placed a defensive wall at two free kicks late in the half, cheating or what, but luckily we survived.


2nd half
United made a sub at halftime off went Gavin to be replaced with Archie and I thought this a strange move, but it worked and we began to string some passes together. I had said after the Whites match that Dolan and Liggie seemed to be forming a partnership, but yesterday they seemed like total strangers and they still got a year on their contracts. Captain Jenks made some forceful runs but nothing came of them and Cush seemed to be out of sorts. but we did create some chances but Tuda Murphy in the Swifts goal was equal to them. When Liggie found some space on the right he hammered the ball across, low and hard, but Dolan made no attempt to get on it. Ally then had a chance, but Murphy saved easily. That was almost Ally's last bit of action as he was subbed minutes after with McCabe taking his place, leaving us with three strikers on the field.

I thought to myself I'd rather see Neil Lowry on, McCabe is an out and out striker, whereas Lowry is more of a creator and he has loads of pace as well. But anyway as luck would have it our best chance fell to McCabe on the right and he fluffed it. I feel I must admonish the Ballymena Borough council here and the stock car people as there were at least three tracks of cars on the pitch and the ball bobbled in one of these when McCabe tried to pass to Archie with the goal seemingly at his mercy. His intended pass ballooned up in the air, like an up and under at rugby and was easy meat for Murphy in the Swifts goal. The most glaring miss was when Cush flighted a free kick from the left to the far post at the home stand side, but we had nobody there, they were all at the near post, surely our coaches know about this tendency and should always have a man positioned at the far post to take advantage of this possibility.

The Swifts were depending on breakaways but I, being a pessimistic United man, was always fearful they could nick one and so it proved. With the match drawing to a close and United struggling to a find a breakthrough, the Swifts attacked down our weak left flank. I honestly don't know what happened, whether there was question of offside about it, but all I seen was Dwayne coming out to confront a Swifts attacker and losing out and ball being passed to Ryan Devlin for an easy tap in. That goal came in the 85th minute and the United bench's frustration boiled over when after a spell of attacking pressure the linesman signalled for a Swifts throw and Spike had to restrained because it was plainly our throw. We were trying to get on terms or were we I wondered. When we won a throw-in level with the Swifts box, Shane Dolan grabbed the ball, but nobody wanted it and Mark McCullagh couldn't be arsed to get up to take it. When he eventually did, Sammy Patterson remarked that he had a long throw-in, but we had to wait for the last match of the season to see it.

We had one last chance and it fell to our top scorer Cush, when from a long throw-in by McCullagh, who has signed a two-year deal, Dolan's header found Cush but his overhead kick found the grateful arms of Murphy. That was our last real chance and we finished a beaten team and maybe I'm being pessimistic, but I think unless we have a complete rethink about our tactics, we are going to struggle next season. They was a talk in the stand that the bookies were not accepting any bets on the Irish league matches and the Swifts were 3-1 to win, but hey I'm getting carried away, it's just sour grapes on my part. The fat lady has definitely sang, we finished our season with a bump and all I can taste is 'Bitter Alice', time to recharge the batteries, I think!

Dwayne (7), McCullagh (6), Ruddy (5), Maher (6), Taylor (6), Ally (5)(Sub: McCabe 5,), Jenks (5), Gavin (5)(Sub: Archie 7,), Cush (6), Alan D (5)(Sub: Liggie 6,), Dolan (6)

Man of the match: Archie