Ballymena Casuals!

United suffered their sixth defeat in a row, the euphoria of their County Antrim Shield win was finally dissipated with this lack-lustre performance against their derby rivals, the Coleraine scum. It's hard to find words to describe this debacle played out before a sizeable crowd, easily the biggest gate of the season, but its little consolation to this United team or should I say divided team. The manager is not devoid of criticism, what possessed him to start with the lightweight Jimmy Mac upfront I'll never know, he never put a foot right. I'm not saying Elvis could've done any better, but he might have given Oglivy, the scum defender a lot more to do than Jimmy Mac did. The manager also decided to restore two of his outfield players to his line-up, Gavin and Thommo and only two them were a success. As touted in Sky Blue Sports, Dwayne got the keepers jersey and except for one boob, he was our best player.

Having said that, it wouldn't be hard to be our best player, they were to a man outclassed, out-thought and disappointingly, outfought. Its a long time since I felt ashamed to say I'm a Sky Blue through and through, but that display yesterday made have a rethink about my loyalties, I don't owe any loyalty to this team of slackers on their abject performance yesterday. If there's any regular readers of my column, they know I've been saying for years that we fall down on the basics, we can't defend set-pieces. Throw-ins, corners and free-kicks are our undoing and worse than that we don't tackle. On the offensive side, we can't take throw-ins, our corners are 'wee buns' for the opposing defence and/or keeper and our free-kicks are a joke and we can't pass, its a hit and hope ball every-time. In the absence of the suspended Kane, Rodgers got the rightback slot in a back-four of Cookie, Archie and Black. Black was the only man that emerged with any credit in defence apart from Dwayne.

In a midfield of Thommo, Jenks and Gavin, only Gavin emerged with any credit and in a forward three of Jamie, Jimmy Mac and Cush, no-one emerged with any credit. Sky Blue Sport had urged Spike to forgo his favoured 4,3,3 formation, but he ignored our request and we paid the price. Cush on the right never got going and Jamie on the left was more interested in fighting than playing football. That said, Jamie had a great chance to set the match really going when he found himself in the clear with barley 20 seconds on the clock, but he shot across the face of goal, instead of picking his spot or trying to find a telling pass or unforgivingly making the keeper work. I know it was early on, but there's no excuse for players these days, they get plenty of time to warm-up before the match and get their shooting boots on. In days gone by I couldn't see Jimmy Martin or Paul Malone miss that sort of opening, but they were class acts.

United were well in the game, but the scum were starting get inroads to the United rearguard which wasn't helped by Archie losing possession on at least two occasions when he should've cleared. The linesman at the Fisherwick end, a Ballymoney bus driver it transpires, missed three scum players blatantly offside but on this occasion United survived. Jimmy Mac was struggling and balls played up to him were bread and butter for the scum defence. Ross black and Jamie almost fashioned something out of nothing, but Cullen in the scum goal, fisted Black's cross away to safety. Five minutes before halftime disaster struck when after about five minutes of concerted pressure, when United couldn't clear their lines, the scum scored through Scullion who bent the ball round Nelson. The goal looked to be coming, for United had everybody back, not a good ploy, but no tacklers, just chasing shadows. I couldn't wait for halftime, surely Spike had got to take Jimmy Mac off, Elvis on and get Cush onto the left and instil some pride in our team.

2nd half
Jimmy Mac made way for Elvis in the 2nd half, but our players attitude hadn't changed, they were to a man 'hiding'. This was epitomised when we got throw-ins, nobody moved, they were like statues. I had just said to Sammy, only one team looks like scoring when my prophesy rang true. From a scum corner, Oglivy was unmarked and Dwayne made a good save from his header, but unfortunately he spilled the ball and Curtis Allen forced it over the line, to make the score 2-0. I empathised with Dwayne, he had got no back-up from his players and where was the marking that allowed Oglivy a free header, they were all to a man, hiding. Worse was to follow when Lowry of the scum, took a leaf out of his manger Oran Kearney's book and took a dive in United's box and to my disbelief referee Crangle pointed to the spot. Dwayne came to our rescue with a good save from Allen's spot-kick and justice was done. Dwayne made a couple of saves to keep us in the match and I thought surely this would lift our players, but it didn't, they we dead.

We forced our first corner after about an hours play, but it was easily cleared by the scum defence, we had nothing. Cush tried a shot from about 30 yards, high, wide and handsome, but he was only a shadow of himself. On one run down the right he hesitated and lost the ball, instead of taking his man on, definitely not Cushlike, not our talisman on this occasion. Spike rang the changes, Jamie making way for Lowry, who flattered to deceive and Gavin our best outfield player making way for Sparky. But there was to be no fairytale ending for this disjointed United team and on this showing a name change looks imminent,instead of United, they are divided, better to change the name to Ballymena Casuals for they are casual in their attitude to their long suffering fans, in short they couldn't care less about what we are suffering, it's only a game to them, for us unfortunately, it's a way of life!

Dwayne (7), Rodgers (5), Cookie (5), Archie (5), Black (6), Thommo (5), Jenks (5), Gavin (6)(Sub: Sparky 6,), Jamie (5)(Sub: Lowry 5,), Jimmy Mac (4)(Sub: Elvis 6,) Cush (5)

Man of the match; Dwayne Nelson