Shambolic United!

I took issue with Ballymena Times reporter Stephen Alexander when he stopped writing a report of the match and made his job easier by interviewing three individuals and publishing their thoughts on the match, his column should make interesting reading this week. I've been following United since my dad and my Granda used to take me when I started primary school in the fifties and its true to say they were more bad times, than good, but always the team tried to play football, but not this team. I don't know what system we were playing yesterday, but whatever it was it just didn't work. We usually blame the midfield but during the first half it was the defence's turn, as they they presented Glenavon with three goals and from this point on there was only going to be one winner. In the end Glenavon could have and should have scored more than the seven they settled for and I put the blink on Dwayne by saying he was blameless and then he flaffed at a cross and Kyle Neil was left with the easy task of scoring with a header.

Spike made three changes from his line-up, out went Mahon, Vaulsely and Liggie and in came Chrissy, Alan D and Cush, he also made one positional change with Ruddy moving to leftback. Deciphering the news on the official website that Ross Black has been released, its obvious that Glenn thinks Ruddy and Vaulsely are the 'bees knees' or was Ross Black getting out while the going was good. I was going to say he was a 'rat', for only a rat deserts a sinking ship, but I occasionally have to go to Larne and there's no point in getting their (the harbour rats), or Ross's hackles up. The disaster started as early as the fifth minute when Ruddy was instructed to take a throw-in to Gavin, who promptly gave the ball away and when it was played back again Ruddy's attempt at a header fell nicely to Bates and he released the unmarked Shannon (unmarked because Ruddy had moved inside) and he swept the ball high into the net beating Dwayne all ends up.

Defensive clanger number 2 happened when Chrissy was trying to shield the ball over the goal-line instead of booting it into touch, Bates swung a leg at it and found Martyn unmarked in the six-yard area and he had the easy task of finding the net. Not much was seen of United going forward, but we had one player in Cush but the home team fouled him at every opportunity and referee Tim Marshall, let them. The linesman at the end where all 150 United fans were, was diabolical and missed some blatant offsides and Glenavon third goal looked to be in this category when Mark Farren burst through or was McCullagh just too slow to catch him and despite the despairing dive of Nelson, the ball trickled into the net. Spike had seen enough and he acted bringing off Gavin and bringing on Liggie. I couldn't believe it, we needed a defender to tighten up our defence and he takes off our one tackling midfielder and brings on a forward who has struggled since he pulled on a Sky Blue jersey.

But maybe Glenn, in his wisdom, is trying out different permutations in the remaining matches knowing that our side looks safe from relegation, the mind boggles. United did manage to mount one attack with halftime approaching, when the ball fell to Jenks and with the goal at his mercy he shot against the bar and the chance was lost. I foolishly thought if we could have got one back there, we might have made a match of it in the second half, hope spring eternal from me you see, but it was not to be. The referee blew his whistle for halftime and it was time to discuss what had gone wrong in the first half. We all knew what had gone wrong, our defence had collapsed, like it had many times this season but nobody could come up with a remedy to fix it. I was reminded of an old saying, 'just when you think things are not going to get any worse, they usually do get worse' (or worser, in Ballymena speak).

2nd half
Fresh from their halftime cuppa United did try to make a match of it at the start of the 2hd half but Liggie's shot cannoned off a post and the chance was lost. Normal service was resumed when from a Kyle Neil free-kick, Liggie turned the ball into his own net. That goal came in the 54th minute and six minutes later from a corner the United defence stood idly by and watched player/manager Gary Hamilton, who had come on as a second half sub, play an overhead kick to Brown, who supplied another overhead kick to score the home teams 5th goal. When the the only outfield player we had, Cush was blatantly body-checked and subsequently had to go off it was the end of the match for us. Referee Martin added insult to injury by only flourishing a yellow card, when it should have been red, for it was a brutal foul.

Neil Lowry replaced Cush but by then it was a damage limitation time for United and they fell further behind when Nelson flaffed at a cross and Neil headed home to make the score six to the home team. That goal came in 66 minutes and Thommo made way soon after for Sparky. Referee Martin had already booked McCullagh and Thommo and he completed the set adding Ruddy's name in an 8 minute spell, but there wasn't a bad foul in any of them. With 10 minutes remaining, the best player on the field, Bates, completed the scoring, lobbing the hapless Nelson, but he was let down by his defenders who stood around like mutton dummies. Yet another defensive collapse, but the others had been to teams in the top six, this one was all the more galling that it was to a team two places below us. No top six finish for us this year and we appear to be in free-fall and we play DC next, maybe we should board up the goals at the Showgrounds!

Dwayne (6), Kane (5), Ruddy (5), McCullagh (4), Chrissy (4), Gavin (5)(Sub: Liggie 5,), Thommo (5)(Sub: Sparky 5,), Alan D (4), Jenks (4), Cush (7)Sub: Lowry 6,), Dolan (5)

Man of the match: Cush

Blankety Blank!

There used to be a show on TV called 'Blankety Blank' where contestants had to supply the missing words to sentences or phrases, it's not that I can't think of any words to describe yesterday's match, I can think of many, but they're all expletives. United manager Spike changed the formation yesterday to something resembling a 4,4,2 but with no natural wide men, we struggled and couldn't get to grips with the game. Worse still, we seem to have no pride,our players seem to think its only a game, there was only one man in our team who had pride in what he was doing,our keeper, Dwayne Nelson. Spike made two changes from his selection of a week ago, one was by choice and the other forced upon him. He omitted Chrissy for new signing Mark McCullough and as joint top scorer, Ally got injured in the warm-up, Vaulsely came in for him at leftback and Ruddy moved to left midfield. When Roy Walker signed Vaulsey in a panic from Coleraine I was sceptical but he sort of grew on me, but yesterday he had a nightmare, but he wasn't the only one.

Another new signing, Shaun Mahon,had looked slow and cumbersome on his debut last week, epitomised with his own-goal last time, but I had decided to reserve judgement on him, but he a had a poor game yesterday. I was on the forum last night and some of the fans seemed to think McCullagh had a good game, but I don't think anyone in our back four had a good game, Mark got pulled out of position when the scum scored the only goal of the game. If he had went and made a tackle I could've excused him, but he didn't and Allen of the scum easily beat Tony Kane who had a horror of a match to score. The goal was a travesty for Gavin Taggart, what possessed him to take a short free-kick near our goal line, instead of leaving it to Dwayne to thump the ball up field, I'll never know. We seem to have no free-kick policy, it's either a short one where we inevitably give the ball away to the opposition or if close to goal, a shot over the bar or straight at the opposing keeper. We were under a bit of pressure, we got a free-kick and Gavin decides to surrender the ball to the opposition, instead of relieving pressure, he put us under more and we finally cracked.

After Gavin gave the ball away, with his short free-kick, Vaulsey and Tomelty came together on the touch-line, I thought that was a foul by Vaulsely but as the scum had possession the ref waved play on. Vaulsely and Tomelty picked themselves up, but Vaulsey didn't track Tomelty and he came on the overlap and Dwayne had to go out and tackle him but he shot and the ball cannoned off Dwayne's leg and over Mahon's head, leaving Allen with the easy task of heading into the empty net, McCullagh meanwhile was nowhere to be seen. It was a goal that shouldn't have been, we had ample time to get the ball away, but were punished for our clanger. United were denied an equaliser soon after when Thommo found Captain Jenks at the far post and his header deceived the scum keeper and Thommo found the unmarked Liggie who drove the ball home. But the joy on the faces of United fans was short-lived, despite awarding the goal, referee Hetherington, later ruled it out for some infringement, some people though that Thommo was offside, but he couldn't have been for Jenks was near the goal-line when he headed it across and Thommo was level with him, but the goal was ruled out anyway. We got to halftime without any further incident, but the scum players, obviously coached by the diving bird, were going down as if pole-axed and the ref was buying it.

2nd half
I thought surely Spike would have to make a change at halftime, as Vaulsely was struggling at leftback, Ruddy was running about like a headless chicken in midfield, trying to cover for his mates and Tony Kane was pathetic to say the least. I felt we needed Duffin to give us some width,replacing Vaulsey. Rodgers to take over from Kane and Lowry in place of either Thommo or Jenks, but Spike like Nero before him, did nothing. In the absence of Ally, Kane was taking all the corners and they were woeful, too close to the keeper or was this the ploy, well if it was it didn't work. Surely we have to have another player who can take corner kicks, it's not rocket science, we had two left-footed players on the pitch who could have taken taken them from the right side, but no we had to stick with Kane and his supply was not good. Finally after about an hour after Liggie and Dolan had demonstrated that they couldn't play with each other, trying fancy flicks instead of the simple ball, Spike acted. He took off Liggie to be replaced by Lowry and I thought this was a backward step, better to keep Liggie on and replace Thommo or Jenks. Lowry made one or two runs into the box but his final ball left a lot to be desired but from one run the ball fell to Jenks but he shot straight at the keeper.

At the other end, Beverland was left unmarked, but could only side-foot the ball past the post, a lucky let-off for United. Gavin found himself in the clear, but he hesitated before trying a long range shot which took a deflection for a corner and a few minutes after Thommo found himself some space but he shot past the post, another chance gone begging. In a last throw of the dice Spike brought on Jimmy Mac for Ruddy and left Rodgers and Duffin scratching their heels on the bench. Jimmy Mac tried to liven things up but he got little encouragement from his team-mates who seemed resigned to the fact of another defeat. Jimmy Mac did create a chance for himself when he ran on to a through ball but his shot was easily saved by the scum keeper. I thought why doesn't Spike take off Kane, bring on Rodgers or Duffin and bring everybody up to try to get something out of this, but he seemed to be happy with a one goal defeat, he was not prepared to go for broke. The only pluses I can see are, we won't have to go to the scum ground anymore this season and we can forget about the top six for another season, it would take a miracle for us to pull it off. Then again, miracles happen everyday, but the impossible takes a little bit longer, and the top six for us, looks impossible!

Dwayne (7), Kane (4), Vaulsey (5), Mahon (5), McCullagh (5), Thommo (5), Jenks (5), Gavin (5), Ruddy (5)(Sub: Jimmy Mac 6,), Liggie (5)(Sub: Lowry 6,), Dolan (5)

Man of the match: Dwayne Nelson

Let Down!

The 950 Sky Blue fans that were in the home stand were sadly let down by their team, whereas the 813 Gypsies went home to their caravans wrecking all before them, proving that they are just scum, it didn't matter to them whether their team won or lost, they were going to plunder regardless of the result. The United midfield were again found wanting, I heard a rumour that Gary Thompson is carrying an injury, well if he is, he should be rested or on the subs bench at least. Better to have a fit team, we already carry a passenger in Captain Jenks, but we can't afford two passengers and that's what we had yesterday. We also had no width in our team, are King Billy Bingham and Peter Duffin injured, or is Spike saving them for the quest of a top six place, starting next Saturday. Well I have news for our manager, yesterday's match epitomised our season to date, we were second best in every department, except maybe goalkeeping. But worse than that, we had no pride, we had nobody prepared to go that extra mile and when we got back on level terms, we capitulated and the pessimist in me wasn't surprised.

As expected Spike selected Shaun Maher in place of Cookie and Dolan in place of the suspended Cush, but sprung a surprise with Mike Ruddy replacing Vaulsely. Ruddy hadn't played since getting injured in November against the hatchet men but Spike showed faith in him and he didn't let him down. I'm not sure if we lost the toss or we elected to kick-off, but we were attacking the Farm Lodge end in the first half. Commentators on the radio and twitter take note, saying a team is playing from left to right, means nothing to your listeners or viewers, we either attack the Farm Lodge end, or the Fisherwick end and you are in the Warden Street stand or the Slemish stand, give us the basic facts, please! Anyway we got off to a brilliant start taking the lead in the 12th minute, from Gavin of all people, not captain Jenks as reported on BBC TV. United won a corner which the scum defence couldn't deal with properly and Jenks had a shot blocked and it was cleared to Gavin about 30 yards from goal. He managed to trap the ball and promptly fired it back towards goal, where Docherty in the scum goal made a hash of it and the ball nestled in the net to give United the lead. Three minutes later the United defence was undone when Maher slipped and Allen saw his chip beat beat Nelson, but not the crossbar.

The United midfield were giving the scum players plenty of space and they paid a heavy price for this when Scullion found acres of space on the left, was allowed time to cross and pick out Allan and he headed the scum level. For the remainder of the half we were hanging on, the scum midfield were dominant, but Thommo and Jenks were ineffective and Dolan and Liggie had to come back and tackle. Not much was seen of us going forward, for in my humble opinion Dolan and Liggie were too far apart and could never find a pass that would unlock the scum defence. Referee Davey Malcolm, who had sent Gavin off in his last appearance at the Showgrounds for kicking an opponent, let Allen away with the same offence when he kicked out at Chrissie. Ruddy seemed to be struggling and I thought we wouldn't see him in the 2nd half as the United defence was at sixes and sevens but they hung gamely until halftime. We were talking idly at halftime what the manager should do, bring on Vaulsely for Ruddy and get Lowry on for Thommo or Jenks and try to shake up the forwards, but alas this after all was idle speculation.

2nd half
United took the field with the same eleven and the scum took up where they had left off and I was surprised we held out so long, for we had nothing to offer against the scum juggernaut. After 11 mins the scum took the lead but it was a tragedy for new signing Shaun Maher, when he turned a Lowry cross into his own net. Soon after this Spike made his first substitution, springing a surprise when he took off Dolan and bring on Neil Lowry. But still we stuttered, Jenks had one forceful run but couldn't find a telling pass and Liggie had a shot charged down at the expense of a fruitless corner. Ally gave us some hope but Docherty turned his powerful shot over the bar. With 10 mins left Gavin made way for Alan D, but he couldn't get us going and 5 mins later Ruddy made way for Sparky and we went three at the back. Scullion almost put the tie beyond doubt when he broke clear but Nelson saved his attempted chip. As we approached the 88th minute we got a lucky break when Alan D found Lowry on the right and his cross was nodded home by Liggie for his first goal in a United shirt. The stage was set for a grandstand finish, but it was the scum who got the breakthrough to sadden United hearts with full-time approaching.

Not for the first time, Tony Kane was left on his own in the right flank and he appeared to strike the ball off Scullion for a goal-kick, but Malcolm gave a corner. When the ball came over it was to the back post, it was nodded across the six-yard box and it fell to Scullion at the near post and he slammed it home to send the scum into the next round. During the 3 minutes of added time, Malcolm finally booked the scum keeper Docherty for deliberate time wasting, but he added nothing on for this deliberate cheating. In the end we felt hard done by, but in truth we had got a lifeline which we hardly deserved and then capitulated soon after. Spike has said its a learning curve, but when are we going to learn, I can see no evidence to suggest we are any better than we were at this time last season, in fact in many respects we are worse off. At this time last season we were still in the Irish cup and embarking on an unbeaten run and we had a striker who was scoring goals for fun. This season except for the Shield win, we've flattered to deceive, but maybe Spike has a plan, I and al the other Sky Blue fans, definitely hope so, I have a dream, a Sky Blue dream!

Nelson (7), Kane (6), Ruddy (6)(Sub:Sparky 6,), Maher (6), Chrissie (6), Thommo (4), Jenks (5), Ally (6), Gavin (7)(Sub: Alan D 6,), Dolan (6)(Sub: Lowry 7,), Liggie (7)

Man of the match: Gary Ligget