Diving Bird!

Former United player Oran Kearney, has taught his Coleraine scum players well, they're are credit to him. But unfortunately they are in the wrong sport, they should be Olympic divers and in referee Andy Hunter they had a willing accomplice. This referee had already proved to United earlier in the season he's not afraid to make up his own rules, when penalising United's Archie Stewart when the ball got stuck in his 'groin area', giving an indirect free to Linfield, instead of the usual bounce ball. He was not to be outdone yesterday, when he issued yellow cards to the scum scorers Stephen Lowry and Curtis Allen when they should've been red and was bluffed when Sparky's mistimed tackle on the diving Ciaran Clark, which should've brought a yellow card and issued a red card instead.

The histrionics of the scum player was plain to see, when he went down 'screaming like a stuck pig', you would have thought that player will never walk again. But it was all 'bluff', Sparky made no contact with the player, the intent was there and it was not 'two-footed' as was stated in reports, it was a clumsy high foot tackle and the ball was there to be won. Contrast that with Lowry's professional foul on Rory Carson when he was the last man and the referee 'reluctantly' booked him and after Allen 'butted' Cookie Munster after they had tangled. Cookie was also booked, but I thought head butting was a red card offence but obviously not in 'make the rules up as you go along' Hunter's eyes.

As we were travelling to the match we got the dreaded news on twitter, that Gavin Taggart not Ally Teggert was in the team. I hoped it was a misprint, but when I arrived at the ground my worst fears were realised, it was indeed Gavin and not Ally who on the team. Ally may have been injured or sick, 'twitter' which is a mind of pretty useless information at any-time was conspicuous by it's silence on the matter. Was it tactics by stand-in manager Joe McCall, if it was surely Ally was worth a place on the bench, but no he was in the stand. Maybe Joe was facing facts, we have been second best to the scum for a long time now, but surely he has better players at his disposal than Gavin Taggart. Gavin has messed up so many times, he's just an accident waiting to happen and he didn't disappoint yesterday.

United with strong wind at their backs started brightly but they tended to hit their passes too firm and couldn't get many clear-cut openings. The scum had obviously done their homework on our keeper's tendency to drop the odd ball, with their shoot on sight policy but Wayne, was on his game (sorry for the slight pun) and dealt comfortably with them all. The strong wind was playing havoc and it was not conductive to good football and you knew mistakes was going to play a big part in it. The home team were trying to push up and former scum player Dicky Vauls, played a ball up the line for Carson to chase. The last scum player was Stephen Lowry he took the United man out and ironically Rory I think had no chance of getting to the ball.

In these situations the referee's job is simple, he has to decide was a genuine attempt to get the ball, which it wasn't and then if isn't, it's a red card, but he decided it was yellow. But he had already failed to book Ciaran Clarke for a late tackle on Archie and chose to lecture Allen for a deliberate elbow on Cookie, 'make up the rules as you go along' was definitely living up to his name. We at 'Sport have been saying our player's are not up to standard and this was epitomised yesterday when Jenks was a virtual passenger, contributed nothing to the team, a real disappointment. Cutch tried to bend a shot but missed and then tried a left shot when he had time to pick his spot.

Ten minutes before halftime and the United midfield not doing their job Sparky decided to take a hand and go for a tackle, which luckily he missed, but that bluffer Clarke went down crying for his mammy and the referee flourished the red card. When Clarke 'trotted' off the pitch, Oran Kearney couldn't resist a 'smirk' and congratulated the player on a job well done. Then five minutes later Cookie and Allen tangled and Allen sunk his head at the United player but only saw yellow. In retrospect maybe the referee should have sent them both packing but that was never going to happen. The United midfield where Sparky was only star was decimated and it was obvious a change would have to made, well it was obvious to me and there were three candidates, Jenks, Gavin and Downey.

2nd half
First team coach Colin Sewell came out at the halftime interval and engaged sub Jordan Baker in conservation and I thought he was coming on at halftime, obvious in place of Jenks, Gavin or Downey. But United took the field with the same ten and then five minutes into the half brought on Baker for Rory Carson. Carson, I thought was having a good game, surely it should have been Jenks who was contributing nothing or Gavin or Downey. In fact I think that was the wrong move, what we needed was to strengthen the midfield by bringing say Chris Rodgers, it was still scoreless at that stage but that was about to change.

Gavin Taggart whose first move is back had a hand the goal that broke the deadlock, he had a chance to clear his lines but he chose to bring the ball across the field. He could've have passed to Kane on the touchline but he chose to pass back to Cookie. All was not lost at this stage, Cookie could have simply tried to get the ball away and not be blamed, but in a rush of blood he tried to step inside, got dispossessed by scum player Jennings, who in turn found Lowry and he beat Drummond from close range to put the scum ahead. It was a goal that should never have been, when you are down to ten men you cannot make any deliberate mistakes, you take the safety first route, kick the ball into touch for petes sake.

We were under the cosh for long spells in the second half, but it must be stated it was all our own fault, we had given the impetus to the scum by our suicide football and we were reaping the benefits. Wayne Drummond kept us in the match by some smart saves and the woodwork came to our rescue a couple of times. Curtis Allen, who should have been in the dressing room, was tormenting Archie and unlike his father Alfie, Archie was devoid of ideas to stop him, by fair means or foul. Only Allen knows how he missed with a free header which looked easier to score and he hit the crossbar with a thunderous shot, when he really should have scored.

United I thought had their best spell of attack in this phase and Cutch seemed to time his run to perfection only for the linesman's flag to go up. I would like to have seen that on replay, but Coleraine is obviously too far for the camera crews to travel at holiday time. With 15 minutes left Archie was caught out again by a ball over the top and Allen drilled a low shot from 12 yards past Drummond. Joe rang the changes taking off Downey and bringing on Neil Lowry and Jenks was replaced by Woods, but it was too little too late for we were dead and buried. I honestly didn't expect Joe to be an inspiration, but I thought he would have more savvy than this. It's an unenviable task, we have few players that are up to scratch, but Joe has been too long at the Showgrounds now not to realise that Gavin Taggart is a liability.

The interviews for the new manager are taking place this Wednesday and if any of the candidates took in this fixture they'll know what a mammoth task they are taking on. Sky Blue Sport in it's preview of this match reckoned of our back four of Vauls, Cookie, Archie and Kane, only Vauls and Cookie were good enough. Due to his tendency to implode I think Cookie is not good enough as well. With Sparky out serving a one game ban, we only have Rory and Ally, if fit, to call upon for the visit of D.C. on Saturday, Jenks, Downey and Gavin are are a liability. Baker, who come on as a sub, as usual flattered to deceive, but we have no-one else to take the weight of Cutch, who not at his best, is still is the 'best' player we have. All in all I can take little heart from this display, the referee and the diving bird sure fixed us good, but we played a part in our own destruction, in short, we shot ourself in the foot!

Drummond (7), Kane (4), Vauls (6), Cookie (4), Archie (5), Taggart (4), Downey (4)(Sub: Lowry 5,),Sparky (6), Carson (6)(Sub: Baker (5), Jenks (3)(Sub: Woods 5,), Cutch (7)

Man of the match: Wayne Drummond

New Broom!

It is said 'a new broom sweeps clean', United showed little evidence of that at Stangmore Park last. They were disjointed, and were outplayed by the hosts and their new manager, Rodney McAree (son of Joe, who was erroneously reported in Sky Blue Sports news as being the manager), should have got off to a winning start. United's stand-in manager, Joe McCall, made two changes from the starting line-up, bringing in Cutch and Jenks at the expense of Baker, who didn't even make the bench and young starlet Neil Lowry, who did. But it was another man who made the bench, Gavin Taggart, which caused the small bunch of United fans to be saying, the same old, same old.

Dungannon should have taken the lead as early as the 6th minute when from a corner, which surprise, surprise, United didn't deal with properly, Topley found himself unmarked in the six-yard box, but luckily he blasted over the bar, with the goal at his mercy. United's ploy of playing one man up front was 'bread an butter' for the home defence. The United goal survived as the Swifts totally dominated and Topley missed another sitter and then brought a good save from Drummond. The best United could muster was a Downey shot well wide and an Archie header over the bar. In our preview of the match Sky Blue Sport's voiced their concern over the appointment of local referee Mark Courtney. The concerns were justified when he cautioned Cookie in 5 minutes for an innocuous foul and midway through the half he gave Topley a good talking to for a deliberate elbow, as biased as a bowling ball.

Tony Kane, preferred to Woods (neither of them are good enough), was having a terrible time, epitomised by one gaffe. The home team played a cross-field ball, which Tony had time to deal with, but he seemed to think it was going out of play and Dungannon winger McCaffrey retrieved the ball easily. Tony recovered the ball, but I think the referee made a mistake, for it was a tackle from behind, but Tony got away with it. Archie was having a torrid time as well with former United player Mike Ward, but he tended to give him too much room and Mike, as he we know thrives on space. United held out to halftime and I was hoping Joe would change things, but I suspected if he did, it wouldn't be for the best. Dungannon really is a dirty hole and this was totally brought home to me in the halftime interval. I paid a visit to the toilets and went to wash my hands, but no water, but then again what do you expect from them, we are in the sticks after all.

2nd half
United showed some purpose in the second half and Ally tested the keeper when he and Vauls unlocked the Swifts defence, but Ally's right-foot shot was easily tipped over by the keeper. Rory Carson, a disappointment, had made way for Neil Lowry and United started to exert some pressure on the home team. Then the 'cheating referee' lent a hand, when after a surging run by Archie, who was fouled about 28 yards from goal, but he was allowed to carry on and found the unmarked Cutch who scored, only for Courtney, to give the foul on Archie. But the strange thing was, he didn't book the perpetrator and he gave the foul in the wrong place, just in the D, when it happened about 5 yards beyond that. Tony Kane, who had already 'missed' from two free-kicks didn't disappoint, shooting over the bar.

Joe made another substitution, taking off Downey and bring on, you've guessed it, Gavin Taggart. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot, this was a suicide mission if ever I saw one and he didn't disappoint. Then in the 88th minute, Cutch did what he does best, conjured up a goal from nothing as he wriggled his way past his maker before shooting into the net for his 18th league goal. It should have been the winner, but we knew in our 'heart of hearts' that there was one more sting in the tail. First off the referee added on 3 minutes of stoppage time even though we had only 5 subs and Joe missed a trick by not making a change in stoppage time. Still we should have held out, but Gavin got caught in possession and Cookie was forced to concede a corner. When the ball came over Jenks appeared to head into the area to the unmarked Conor Faulkner and he duly scored, to tie the match up. There was no further scoring and we had snatched a draw from the jaws of victory, same old, same old!

Drummond (7), Kane (5), Vauls (6), Cookie (6), Archie (6), Carson (5)(Sub: Lowry 6,), Downey (6)(Sub: Taggart 4,), Sparky (7), Jenks (5), Ally (6), Cutch (7)

Man of the match: Cutch

Ill Wind!

There's an old saying, 'that's an ill wind that doesn't blow some good', there was an 'ill 'wind' at the Showgrounds tonight, which blew United out of the Irn Bru cup and manager Roy Walker out of his job. The manager tended his resignation at the end of the match and his assistant Terry Moore also resigned leaving first team coach Colin Sewell in charge. In their wisdom, the United board appointed Joe McCall the caretaker manager and Sewell as his assistant, memories are short. It an ironic twist, United showed they can play football tonight and surprise, surprise, they can tackle. I can't help feeling that if they had played like that all season, we'd got better results.

In the first half with the wind at their backs they took the match to the Crues and were denied a stonewall penalty when young Lowry was tripped in the box by Leeman, but referee Crangle was hardly going to give the penalty against 'his' team. Tony Kane's free from 30 yards was tipped over by Crues keeper Sean O'Neill. Lowry got his place in the starting line-up due the non-appearance of Jenks and Cutch, when their ferry was cancelled and they had to come by plane. Announcer Davy King informed fans of their arrival midway through the first half, by saying the 'eagles have landed'. United lined up for this match with Archie replacing Rodgers in the back four, Rory and Sparky in midfield in place of Jenks and Archie and Lowry and Baker up front in place of Cutch and the suspended Gavin Taggart.

Rory Carson missed a gilt edged chance when after good work from Lowry he shot weakly at O'Neill, instead of passing to Ally. The linesman at the Fisherwick end of the ground which United were attacking, had a strange read on offsides and pulled Lowry on two occasions when he was well on-side and he was giving the benefit of the doubt to the visitors when there was any dispute about who fouled who. After one blatant decision, United manager Roy Walker had to be restrained by his assistant Terry Moore, but I think he was quite within his rights. Vauls was rightly booked when he was caught on the wrong side of his man and committed the 'professional' foul. The United defence had one scare, when they attempted to play offside and Halliday bore down on goal and Drummond just done enough to put him off. Despite the added three minutes referee Crangle added on for keeper O'Neill's blatant time-wasting, the score remained the same.

2nd half
The 'legacy' of former manager Tommy Wright came back to haunt us moments after the restart, when keeper Wayne Drummond dropped a simple headed back-pass at the feet of Crues Stuart Dallas and he gleefully tapped the ball home for the only goal of the game. United manager Roy Walker rang the changes, firstly he brought on top scorer Cutch for Baker. Then took off Carson and brought on Jenks a virtual passenger and due to an injury, when he was scythed down by Crues sub David Rainey, Vauls had to be replaced by Woods. Surely by that stage we should thrown caution to the wind and brought on Boyd to see if we could anything out of the match.

United had their chances, Ally had hit a shot straight at O'Neill, Jenks thundered through on a Cutch pass and his half hit shot was saved by the keeper. Despite forcing several corners our strikers seemed flat-footed and the chances went abegging. In a great bit of football United's case was easily summed up, when Ally failed to make a telling pass, instead he rolled the ball to O'Neill. In fact the Crues, who had limited themselves to shooting from distance, without troubling Drummond, nearly snatched one at the end of the 3 minutes of added time, Drummond tipping Owen's effort over the bar. The Crues retained possession right at the corner flag and referee Crangle blew his whistle to send his team into the Irn Bru final where they will take on the Coleraine scum.

Drummond (4), Kane (6), Vauls (7)(Sub: Woods 6,), Cookie (6), Archie (6), Rory (6)(Sub: Jenks 6,), Sparky (7), Downey (7) Ally (6), Baker (6)(Sub: Cutch 6,), Lowry (7)

Man of the match: Conor Downey

Lowest Ebb!

United reached their lowest ebb at Mourneview Park today when they were soundly beaten by the bottom team in the Carling Premiership, Glenavon. Sky Blue Sport in our preview for today's match couldn't see our manager continuing with his ploy of playing Vauls and Kane (or Woods) and omitting Sparky. Admittedly we urged him to make changes, but not include Gavin Taggart, but Roy knew best, he selected Kane and Vauls and worse still, he selected Gavin Taggart leaving Sparky on the bench. Now we had know way of knowing that Gavin was going to mess up big time, but we believe he is a liability and so he proved today. That was bad enough, but it was the way this United team capitulated that was so sad. Playing with ten men is difficult, but not impossible, with the right coaching we should been able to hold Glenavon with a man short, but we had no idea.

Baker and Boyd were missing through injury and Roy in his wisdom picked an ultra-defensive team, Kane, Vauls, Cookie, Rodgers, Archie, Gavin, Downey and only three attackers in Jenks, Ally and Cutch. We started off on the back foot and Gavin booked for a bad foul within four minutes. This should have been a warning to him and his team-mates that referee Smith was determined to stamp his authority on the game, unfortunately they didn't heed the warning. It was plain to see we had no outlet, when they did manage to get the ball up to Cutch, it came straight back down again. The home team forced three corners in quick succession, but the United defence held firm although they was a few scares. Then halfway through the half disaster struck, from a half cleared corner Gavin Taggart was rightly sent off for a horrendous tackle, which my opinion he didn't need to make, senseless in the extreme.

Worse was to follow from the resultant free kick as the United defence and keeper Drummond just stood flat-footed and let the ball bounce into the net. The United fans were stunned, they just couldn't believe it, it was like we were mugged, but the only difference was we had done the mugging. The United fans are to blame for this sending off and the subsequent goal, with their negative vibes emanating to the team. We needed cool heads and a change of personnel on the field, we got neither. Conor Downey, a player with experience was yellow carded for retaliating after he had been fouled and was lucky not to be sent off as he raised his arm, our fault again. We somehow survived to halftime and we were left to reflect on the suicidal nature of out team.

2nd half
Elvis replaced Vauls at halftime with Archie switching to leftback, but United couldn't get anything going forward. Cutch let his frustration show, talking himself into a booking as did Jenks minutes later. Our goal survived until 65th minute when Miskimmion broke the offside trap and placed the ball past the advancing Drummond and then 2 minutes later Rodgers brought down the same player in the box and Magee stroked the resultant penalty into the net. United made two late changes, with Ally and Downey going off to be replaced by Carson and Davidson, the latter making his debut. There was no further scoring and the disgruntled United fans gathered at social club end to shout abuse at manager Roy Walker. I was personally annoyed at this, the manager is blameless, sure it's all our fault, the manager is a fan, we hurt, he hurts and we are in the Irn Bru semi-final, what do you want for pete's sake, only believe! (I am joking).

Drummond (5), Kane (4), Vauls (6) (Sub: Elvis 4,), Cookie (5), Rodgers (5) Ally (5)(Sub: Carson 5,), Gavin (2), Downey (5)(Sub: Davidson 5,), Jenks (5), Archie (4), Cutch (5)

Man of the match: Dicky Vauls

Defensive Nightmare!

Let's be honest, United were outclassed by the I.F.A. yesterday, the Sky Blues defence had a nightmare, the fullbacks, Woods and Vauls, were taking to the cleaners and the central defenders, Rodgers, whose indecision led to the first goal and Cookie Munster, were at sixes and sevens, no leadership at all. The Sky Blue Sport's team have been emphasising the point that we need a 'general', in our defence, someone to take control, tell people what to do and more importantly lead by example. I and the Sky Blue Sport's team think we may have such a leader in our ranks, but our manager keeps him sitting on the bench. I'm talking about, Mark 'Sparky' Surgenor, the man who has played every position in this United team, but leftback and I'm sure he could play there as well.

When we reached halftime yesterday and by a miracle we were only one down, Roy Walker took off Curtis Woods and brought on Tony Kane, a plunker for a plunker and left Sparky sitting on the bench. Ten minutes after the restart, Kane backed out of going for a pass which was at worst was 50/50 and was left in no-man's land, even Joe Gray would have tried to get the ball and that's saying something. Surely there's a fullback in the 1st or 2nd division with more savvy and guts than any of our two incumbents (I hope that's the right word), but even if there's nobody or we can't afford them, surely Sparky deserves a try, we can't definitely go on like this.

The United manager picked the same eleven that started last week, surely he was living in a dream-world, he needed to make changes and to have a plan, it's obvious he didn't have a clue. The ironic thing is, if Chris Rodgers had not dithered and got dispossessed by the Lowry of I.F.A. and the keeper (who was superb throughout), had got a better touch on the ball, we might have got something in this match. Or if we had goal-line technology, the Chris Rodgers second half header might have counted, Irwin looked well behind the line when he kicked it out. That one mistake from Rodgers proved United's undoing, although we should have been swamped, such was the I.F.A. dominance, but their finishing left a lot to be desired, no doubt that's why the fat controller tried to sign United's leading marksman, Cutch.

In our preview of this match the 'Sports team made reference to referee Brian Turkington, who was we said fair, but he proved anything but. He allowed the I.F.A, (not surprisingly, his employers after all), to take throw-ins and free kicks from wherever they pleased and get away with brutal tackles without as so much as a talking to. One incident in the 2nd half stands out, as Ally Teggart jinked along the by-line, he had his progress impeded but he was not stopped, but instead playing the advantage rule, the 'Turk' blew for a foul and worse still no yellow card. The linesman at that end of the ground, the Spion Kop, was virtually useless, practically no offsides when the I.F.A. was attacking that end, any decisions that were doubtful he gave to them and worse still, he missed the Rodgers 'goal' in the 2nd half. Contrast this to the linesman at the railway end, his flag was constant, the minute United threatened to attack, he put up his flag. I was beginning to think the fat controller was pressing his buttons.

I couldn't say he was wrong, there were all to close to call, but he got one wrong when Ally and Jenks chased a through ball, Jenks, clearly offside, stopped, but the linesman flagged anyway although Ally was clearly on side. Jenks, who had a terrible match, a touch like an elephant, had bad luck with a header from a Downey cross, beating Blaney in the I.F.A. goal, only to see the ball come back off a post. Aaron Boyd, wasn't interested in chasing down balls and he went off at halftime, (no doubt his loyalties still lie with the I.F.A.), to be replaced with Archie. I couldn't believe this substitution, I'll stick my neck out now and say I don't think Archie will make it. His best position is on the bench, he's been tried at central defence, no use, leftback,too slow and left midfield, like a fish out of water. He contributed nothing to the match, he had one run but lost possession, what a waste.

The I.F.A. must have forced about 39 corners in the match, as I said before they got all the decisions, except one, They should've been five goals up at the break, they hit the bar, post, Albert headed straight at the keeper and Mark McAllister, blatantly offside, missed from 3 yards, that's on top of our keeper making three or four saves. Contrast this with United's two chances and you can see the difference in the two sides. Woods had a nightmare at rightback, he couldn't do right for doing wrong, when confronted with a player, he couldn't get the ball past him and he was generally out of position when the I.F.A. attacked. Now I been saying in this column for three years how pathetic we are at throw-ins, not only in defending them but in taking them. The hosts had a field day yesterday, United never putting any pressure on them when they were taking them and we have no idea when taking them ourselves and they were mostly intercepted, surely that's basic coaching.

2nd half
We were in the game this half, but the hosts should have got more goals and we were lucky our keeper was in top form, but McAllister still missed yet another a sitter, hitting the ball too far in front him and Burns was foiled by a great save from Drummond. I kept hoping that we could snatch something from this game, but I knew when the Rodgers goal was not given there was very little hope. Baker, a virtual passenger up front had to go off and Elvis come on to masquerade as a footballer, leaving the versatile Sparky sitting on the cold bench. How unprofessional of United to not have the sub ready when Baker went down injured, it was obvious he couldn't continue, but it took another two minutes after he went off to get the sub on. Vauls made a horrendous mistake, when missing s free header but somehow Archie got back to clear the danger at the expense another I.F.A. corner, I think it was number 36.

I never saw saw the time added on board go up and it was not announced over the speaker, which surprise, surprise, I was able to hear, at Norn Iron matches you can't hear a thing, but we weren't informed, Davy King could learn them a thing or two. The final whistle sounded and I was left to contemplate of how I and the poor 100 or so travelling Sky Blue fans had contributed to another United defeat, as our manager pointed out, it is all our fault. Maybe we would be better not going at all and then Roy and his team of no-hopers would have no-one to blame, only themselves, that'd would be a novel idea. But it hardly likely to happen, no matter all the brickbats and blame you attribute to us, we will still support you, there's no fools like old fools, we are truly United, but is the team!

Drummond (8), Woods (4)(Sub: Kane 4,), Vauls (5), Rodgers (6), Cookie (6), Baker (5)(Sub: Elvis 4,), Downey (7), Jenks (4), Ally (7), Boyd (4)(Sub: Archie (5), Cutch (6),

Man of the match: Wayne Drummond